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Join C.R.A.P.

What is C.R.A.P.?

The Citizens' Revolution Against Poops (C.R.A.P. for short), is an uprising of all peoples worldwide against Poops, in particular, Poop Head Quarters (PHQ for short). Our mission is to kick the crap out of Poops and destroy them before they destroy us. Which is entirely possible. Them destroying us, I mean, not us kicking the crap out of them, although that too. Stop interrupting and see if you qualify!

Membership Criteria (if you've got these, you're in)

1. You have read Poop Pandemic. At least once. If not, you can still join.
2. You have recommended Poop Pandemic to at least 1,000 peoples of the Earth. If not, you can still join.
3. You wish to join an organization devoted to researching Poops. If not, well, ok, you can still join.
4. You wish to send the author US$200 notes in bundles of 100. If not, well, maybe, em, ok, you can just squeak in.
5. You wish to receive tortuous but brief and irregular (if at all) C.R.A.P. notes (wordsmithed notes, not banknotes) about Poop secrets (that is information on any pending pandemic that may prove useful, like keeping you alive), and other things.
6. You wish us to use your email address for the purposes of 5., but to keep it safe, and not to give your email address to anyone, seriously. I don't mean we'd give them your email address whilst laughing. I mean seriously, we won't give your email address to anypeoples, anywhere, nor to PHQ.
7. You wish to contribute ideas for the upcoming (maybe) book, questions, uplifting comments on Poop Pandemic, irritating words to send to my exasperated publisher, and semi or fully unintelligent questions (although if you do feel that spark of intelligence fire off, then do try to interpret it for us here so we too may understand it).
8. You don't use any profain (bad) words or pictures or ideas, nor do you say unkind things about race (apart from the Poops), religions, beliefs, people with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), and the usual illegal things we mustn't say.

Agreement

You agree to at least 5. 6, and 8. above, and not to take anything too seriously. Anything you state may be taken down and used in evidence against you in my next books. You agree to the terms of reference and legal pages on this site, even if you feel a revulsion against agreeing to anything or with anyone in life. By sending the email below, you agree to this agreement in the most agreeable way, understanding that we also agree to this agreement since you would then be an official member of C.R.A.P.

Welcome! I think.

Now, please feel free to willingly join this C.R.A.P. organization!
We WILL save your email address so we can torture you with the membership secrets expained above.
Please first read the verbage above.